Believe in your ability to foster resilience.
New research suggests that resilience is more widespread and teachable than previously thought. “That’s because our resilience is rooted not only in our beliefs and values, in our character, experiences…and genes, but critically in our habits of mind—habits we can cultivate and change,” says Andrew Zolli in his book Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back.
In communities, following a disaster, far more people display resilience than those who settle into chronic stress and grief. You are created in a way that you can find strength to heal and flourish.
This is why author Steve Goodier could write: “My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”
Exercise your brain.
Being resilient isn’t just about working through loss, with its accompanying fear and grief. You might say, “I don’t want to get up today and go to work.” When those times come, let your brain and your thoughts be a balance for your feelings, replying, “I will get up and go to work today because that is what will help me heal.”
In my own research and work with caring ministry, I found numerous stories about people who reported that engaging their brain became an important part of their journey toward resilience. One woman who survived a shark attack found her salvation in learning to knit. The repetitive brain activity of knitting not only calmed her, but helped her not to be consumed by her trauma.
When a friend of hers then experienced a similar crisis and called her in emotional turmoil, she at first wanted to retreat and sink into her own despair once again. She wanted to run, not knowing how to help her friend. Instead, she paused, took a deep breath and said, “Come over to my house; and I’ll teach you how to knit.”
Research suggests that keeping your brain busy holds a key to working through trauma and loss. From word games to carpentry or crafts to new learning through education, an active brain contributes to a resilient spirit.
